Here is the cover to my doujinshi available for sale at this winter's Kaigai Manga Festa (aka the group of foreigners sitting in front of the entrance to Comitia at Tokyo Big Sight) on November 18. The book features 16 pages of awesome daring-do and feats-of-wonder aplenty. If you are in the area please stop by the Udon booth (where I will coincidentally be) to pick up a copy and say hi! Cost is a mere 500 yen.
I would get rid of it, since you only use that shading in two places (the finger, and the other girls hand) and they both look hairy. I think if you use shading like that it has to be everywhere, or no where...that's just me
you should try working on your expressions.They have the same one ,and it really looks like a blowup sexdool expression.Also head is really flat on top so face- head ratio is off.Not sure if you were pressed by time but the two-tone shading doesn't work quite well especially with the skin where the difference in values is verry small compared to the cloths. and your lights are inconsistent and all over the place.Keep it up you'll get there.